Dealing with ‘free’ work, learning to say NO & taking care of yourself” Marysia's Podcast Coaching Session CS05 with Ryan Lock [ 38:15 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadRyan Lock/Marysia Podcast coaching session 5: In this Fifth coaching session podcast Ryan continues to coach me on how to market myself and my work, achieving my big goal, looking at my mindset and tackle my limiting beliefs and overcome procrastination. This week I start the session feeling exhausted and with no energy to move things forward.
Here are some of the highlights of his advice for moving forward this week (this is not a full transcript)
We discuss doing Free Work, as an actor, singer or even as a graphic designer how much free work can you do? How do you balance being free, open and generous with having a life and a business to run, with using up all your energy that free work takes up?
Ryan – “when it comes to work of any kind, there needs to be a fair exchange and often that takes the form of money. What is important is the message you are sending out to clients, you have to be honest regarding your time and energy.”
DJ’s, actors, models – look at the reasons for doing free work, if someone is saying it will pay off then there has to be a tangible way of looking at that reward. For example if you are doing free plays to meet people and get agents to see you then you have to ask how many free plays have you done, how many agents have seen you?
This can be a wake up call – if free work just gets you more free work, yes there is an element of getting your stripes but you need to really value your time and energy so you must check in with yourself. If someone is offering you a chance to do something then you must be able to guarantee that you get something from it eg a recording etc. Often the only people will benefit will be those taking your time.
I discuss how it is probably more the energy than the time, when one is firing on all cylinders creatively then you are giving your all and then you need time to come down and relax. You cannot squander the energy as you have only so much energy.
If you are involved in someone else’s stuff then you lose your own regularity and discipline on pushing forward your own creative efforts: you don’t make the calls you should, you don’t think where you need to take action as you are all consumed in someone else’s project.
All my leads I am chasing with Londontown, I have missed London Fashion Week, I am behind the curve as my time, energy and focus has been somewhere else.
Ryan says when he hears clients discuss free work, it alarms him how many people expect talented professionals to work for free. The gifts and energy that talented people have, one must be very selective about who one even engages with.
As it can lead to a burn-out or no energy for other things then it is time to pull out.
Always ask
‘Does this move me towards or away from my goal?”
‘What is the tangible benefits?’
You probably already have enough experience.
I quote Jan Amsden, a very experienced actress and director, (her imdb) ‘You only do free or profit-share theatre if it is a character you have always wanted to play or an experience you want to have’
I then talk about my exhaustion, not knowing what to do next with the Londontown – I am tired just thinking about the next step.
Ryan says he can hear I am emotionally exhausted and I need to make my well-being a priority. I will work better and be more focused when I am rested. If my To-Do list is making me over-stressed.
He suggests make a list of three things I could do to make my health and well being a priority.
Spend time really re-charging, not 3 or 4 weeks but a day or so.
I know I need to start saying No to people, places and things i ‘should’ do. I need to be very selective on even which auditions I go to or classes, I need to not pre-book my life too far in advance or keep saying yes to helping others. I feel as I was doing a play I had a reason to say No, and now everything is catching up with me. I am not stopping myself from rushing around,
Ryan says the first step in changing something is acknowledging it and I am definitely seeing this. He suggests seeing myself as a mobile phone battery and I cannot keep using energy everywhere and wasting it.
Work smarter, not harder.
Ryan suggests saying no to things that are not conducive to relaxing in the evening. Most of the results you get in the gym are from when you are resting. View my downtime as part of my work.
I have been getting annoyed by allowing others request stopping me from going to the gym or doing what I want/need to do for myself and my creativity. Say yes to myself first, then say yes to others.
When you are the brand, eg Marysia, you need to be filled with creativity and energy and you are honouring yourself and being authentic. Self-sabotage can be very insidious. There can be an element of sabotaging your own energy levels and no one benefits.
ASK How can I start making time for myself?
I have to say look at Londontown – half hour a day back in, learn play. This time is not a holiday and party time but this time is useful to drive some projects forward.
Ryan says ‘Honour myself first and give myself time to re-charge’. You will work better for resting, so say no and re-jiggle it around for the best of everyone. You don’t have to keep going ‘There is no expiry date for your dreams, just get back up and go”
‘View down-time as recharging to go back and do better’
I promise to carve a day to do nothing, eat great food and try to not think about work.
It is ok to say to someone ‘I am sorry but that does not work for me, I need some downtime’. Ryan does not want me to go into jobs with half my energy and vigour.
I notice that with my nutrition I am eating lots of red meat with spinach and beetroot, I can feel I am run round.
This coaching session has gone somewhere I did not expect. Ryan says his job is to help his clients with what is happening now rather than going into marketing a single.
So incorporate self-care into my day, go to bed early, get a schedule in place, go to ed early and get up early. Pack stuff the night before to stop me becoming a crazy woman.
Have a half day off to do nothing.
Say no to people at present as my energy is not in a place to really help as I am not effective. You can only give to others what you can give yourself. No matter how helpful it is for others, it is your job to look after yourself first.
So get comfortable saying no, say to people my coach says I must say ‘no!”
The first few times you say no, people may get weird the first few times as it will shift the dynamic, but then you will get more energy. I have noticed that I am giving an imbalance to others and I am not giving myself what I need. I know I am choosing to not honour myself and treat myself well.
My blog with some tips on recovery here
Homework for me – change it for yourself as required
I need to schedule in ‘Londontown time’ minimum 30 minutes everyday and ideally an hour every day. You could schedule in time on a particular project of your own.
Put self-care into my day
Say no to everything that does not move me towards my goal?”
I would love to hear from people on how they deal with recovery and exhaustion before moving on to their next project.
If you, as a listener would like to ask myself and Ryan a question on creativity or marketing just email us or call my Speak Pipe. The advantage of leaving a message on my Speak Pipe (button on the right of my website saying ‘Leave a voicemail’ is that If you leave your blog details etc we can play the call live.
If you like this and want an indepth overview on being your own publicist see Podcast on How To Be Your Own Publicist, Marysia & Ryan James Lock
The Coaching Sessions in reverse order are as follows
Podcast 7 on How to get the right mindset on press reviews
Why you must get comfortable being uncomfortable – Coaching podcast session 4
Podcast Coaching Session 001 How to start promoting yourself and stop holding yourself back
@RyanJamesLock
Face book : The Ryan James Consultancy
Ryan James Lock <ryan@beingyourownpublicist.com>
The website and place to buy the coaching course is here
He also has on his site a free audio download 7 part coaching sessions, weekly mindset and pr strategy emails you can sign up to.
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Love Your Creativity.com is dedicated to all creatives trying to make great work and make a living from it.
About Marysia and Love Your Creativity
I blog at least three times a week on creativity and techniques to get your art on.
Whether you are a musician, an actor or a choreographer I endeavour to make https://loveyourcreativity.com is a place to come for inspiration and motivation.
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Tags: Actors Dup, Coaching, Event planning, exhaustion, Feature film, Film festival, how to be more creative, Janet Amsden actress, Londontown, love your creativity, Marysia, musicians, Order, Pick, recovery, Ryan Lock, saying no, Short film, Species, working for free
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