Marysia with Ryan James Lock CS009 on ‘The words we use completely depicts our mindset and influences how we feel.’ [ 38:09 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadIn this 9th coaching session podcast Ryan continues to coach me on how to market myself and my work, achieving my big goals, looking at my mindset and tackle my limiting beliefs and overcome procrastination.
Here are some of the highlights of his advice for moving forward this week (this is not a full transcript)
I am talking about after each process or show I crawl into a hole, collapse on the sofa and read, despite knowing that I do all or nothing in my life, I feel I put too much pressure on myself regarding expectations. After I have given a lot of energy to a project there is a lot of sugar, biscuits, cakes and chocolates, not talking to people, hiding and sitting on the couch eating. I am doing NaNoWriMo this year (write a 50, 000 word novel in the month of November) but have also fell behind the word count during these few days of hiding.
Ryan says this is common and it is important to understand that when you exert yourself in one area it is important and natural. I have this voice in my head saying ‘Come on, get on, moving and change the world’.
Ryan feels this could be a reaction, so I need to rebel against the fact that I have done so much and feels I need to give my permission to recover, however the way I am choosing to recover is not working for me. I know that eating loads of Haribo is not good, I need to find better downtime coping ways that are healthy and really work for me.
I feel a bit heartbroken. I know I can get into massively catastrophic thought drama and can hurt myself in terms of self care and moving forward in my life.
Ryan thinks in putting my all into things try and remember the following advice from ‘Creative mind and success’ by Ernest Holmes, ‘A seed does not become a tree overnight no matter how much water you pour on it.”
If I looked at the bigger picture I can see the little things should take me there eventually.
He uses the analogy of a Sat Nav, the route and destination mapped out, and using our inner wisdom to get us there. He sees in me a real sense of impatience. (This is true ‘I want it all, I want it now’!)
Ikeda ‘Please steadily advance on the path of faith that manifests in daily life, living in the way that works best for you’
So trust myself that I will come back stronger, better
I have started re-doing Morning Pages, free hand 3 pages of A4, stream of consciousness. I really got that maybe my drive, which is a very typical creative drive, that you want to keep moving forward. What happens is that my head gets in the way. I believe that we are given these dreams of creative work from singing to painting, I believe they come from a soul place and given the talents to go with these dreams, Yes we have to train and hone but we are given these building blocks. I always have felt I have a different mission to do in this world.
Ryan says lots of creatives have this darkness and agrees our gifts are divinely given. Such a sense of calling is vital.
Calling is an amazing word which is far less drama than me calling it a ‘mission’, a very high impact energy word and we all do better work when we are recharged. Ignoring the rest days in the gym just make your injury, you grow more when you rest.
The sense of depression and come down, this is partly a sense of loss, part a space thats open and also a time to regroup and recharge.
I feel I have been regrouping now for weeks and am still scrabbling around. Pressure and High energy get me to work.
Ryan asked me a coaching question, say the first thing that comes to my mind
‘What would it be like if you made it OK to have the downtime on the sofa’
I said ‘I’d be bored stiff’ Two days of coming off the sofa I feel so much better with a clean kitchen. The ways I chose to downtime don’t make me happy or relaxed.
Ryan says my downtime process should leave me replenished, I need to find a better way to recharge. Sugar and sweets don’t help.
What would it be like if I gave myself permission to have downtime?
I get nervous that I can lose myself in hiding as I know how dangerous avoidance is, I have learnt my lesson but it still scares me.
I keep telling myself as per our ‘Stop shoulding yourself’ podcast but the words I use I must, need to, I don’t think the words I use help my mental state.
I know I can completely destroy myself or I can make the world a better place. Mission suggests hair shirts, no pay, bad food and no sex.
Ryan says the words I use completely depicts my mindset and influences how I feel. He was coaching someone who kept saying ‘Well the problem here is..’ and that trains your mind to feel negative.
I have decided to go to the other extreme and as with Cleopatra ‘I am fire and air, my other elements I give to baser life’, I know as a performer this energy and fire I have helps me with my ‘calling’ but I need to learn to earth myself having burnt myself to an ember.
I have decided for the next 6 weeks I am going to stop listening to my head and spend my time what I choose to do from my calling, I am stopping the ‘I should, I must write, I need to’ I am giving myself permission to throw all my toys out the pram again, I must trust my calling means that my heart tells me that I like to sing, write, act and have a clean flat. I am going to be guided by my heart and get the stupid headspace and commands out of the way, which in many ways I see as other people’s view of me and their words.
Ryan says it is great to analyse the present but also moving forward two assignment
Become very aware of the words I use and how these words make me feel – eg calling I feel inspired, divinely driven so right actions
Spend some time (especially of you are feeling burned out or guilty about downtime) really ask myself what do you need right now to make me feel better about myself. If you really listen to your wisdom you will see what you need to.
Of course, lets look look at things from a calm perspective and come back from the downtime stronger and better not feeling guilty.
I am trusting my inner guide to point me in the right direction of health and words.
I quote the first qualified female combat pilot in the world, her father used to say ‘If people are saying to you that if you can’t do things or you shouldn’t bother, then they are usually the people who are most afraid you will succeed’
Ryan feels I need to give myself a break literally, be kinder to myself, ease up and thus I will let more into my experience. Also give myself a break to really get to know myself and what I need. It is very easy to let others say what I need but it is all under my control.
Ryan is doing a free tele class on Nov 20th 2013 at 1pm London time ‘Publicity Masterclass’, you can listen via Skype or a webinar for strategies on your work and brand. He also is giving away some great prizes. Just contact him via Ryan James Lock <ryan@beingyourownpublicist.com>
If you, as a listener would like to ask myself and Ryan a question on creativity or marketing just email us or call my Speak Pipe. The advantage of leaving a message on my Speak Pipe is that of you leave your blog details etc we can play the call live.
marysia@loveyourcreativity.com
@RyanJamesLock
Face book : The Ryan James Consultancy
Ryan James Lock <ryan@beingyourownpublicist.com>
The website and place to buy the coaching course is www.beingyourownpublicist.com/home
“Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.
He also has on his site a free audio download 7 part coaching sessions, weekly mindset and pr strategy emails you can sign up to.
If you like this and want an indepth overview on being your own publicist see Podcast on How To Be Your Own Publicist, Marysia & Ryan James Lock
The Coaching Sessions in reverse order are as follows
‘Listen to those who have the results you want’ aka the ‘Waiting for DHL’ Podcast Coaching 8
Podcast 7 on How to get the right mindset on press reviews
Why you must get comfortable being uncomfortable – Coaching podcast session 4
Podcast Coaching Session 001 How to start promoting yourself and stop holding yourself back
If you like this podcast please rate us or subscribe on iTunes, it’s free and will help others find it. Or you can just go the website for the blog and you can subscribe there via your email if you dont want to miss a post
Love Your Creativity.com is dedicated to all creatives trying to make great work and make a living from it.
About Marysia and Love Your Creativity
I blog at least three times a week on creativity and techniques to get your art on.
Whether you are a musician, an actor or a choreographer I endeavour to make https://loveyourcreativity.com is a place to come for inspiration and motivation.
div>Post 70 of Dream, create and make money in the arts
Tags: Cleopatra, Ernest Holmes, Haribo, Ikeda, London, Marysia, NaNoWriMo, Need, Ryan, Ryan James, Ryan James Lock., Skype, Want
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