'Listen to those who have the results you want' CS08 Marysia & Ryan Lock coaching session 8 [ 31:04 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadIn this Eighth coaching session podcast Ryan Lock continues to coach me on how to market myself and my work, achieving my big goals, looking at my mindset and tackle my limiting beliefs and overcome procrastination. This week we look at how to deal with having negative creatives and people around me.
Here are some of the highlights of his advice for moving forward this week (this is not a full transcript)
Ryan’s work is based on the belief that the way you think about yourself and your work has a huge impact on your success levels.
I talk about being surrounded by negative artists. I was in a few casting classes last week and the negativity that come from other actors talking constantly about how hard it is is really depressing. I found their low life state made me angry and annoyed.
I wanted to say to people ‘Come on, strive harder’
Ryan wanted to know when I heard all this negativity, how did I deal and react? I repeated how the casting directors say that they get thousands of CV’s for a TV job and only call three to four people in . (Note this is in the UK, in the USA they may call hundreds in for each role). Hence if you do get the call for an audition you have a very good chance of booking the job as they think you can do the job which is why you are being called in. The other actors kept telling bad and hard luck stories.
Ryan talks about when people say ‘ I am just being honest or negative’ he always think ‘No, you are being negative’, there will always be positive and negative sides to every experience and it is about choosing what side you chose to focus on. He thinks it is dangerous to hang around people who are negative, it can overinfluence you.
He always suggest to listen to those people who have the results you want. It is about saying ‘That might be true for him but not necessarily for you’.
I mention Ken Collard and his primary focus is ‘I can do this, I can make this happen, I can make a living in this industry’. I am a great believer in doing, making contacts, networking gracefully. Ken Collard Podcast
Ryan says he loves the fact that I say ‘I refuse to sit there and be a measly actor’, sitting there complaining and telling yourself it is going to be hard’ you make it hard for yourself.
He mentions the book E-squared, where she talks how your brain chooses what to think, if things contradicts the way you think about your life it then ignores them.
Marianne Williamson, ‘The universe is hugely abundant, you might be sitting next to your would be life partner in a cafe but if you are too busy thinking how life is hard then you may not notice that he is smiling at you‘. The same applies for work. Life does not have to be difficult and hard but can be brilliant.
Ryan likes coaching me as I already seem to know to keep positive and how my mind influences my life.
However I mention the DHL nightmare today where I have had to sit in all day (after waiting in all day yesterday and popping out for 20 mins where I then missed them) and had wait and stay in for a delivery all day from 8am. I rang at 5pm asking where is the delivery given, they won’t give me even a morning or afternoon time, just office hours, it is now 5pm.
I could have done more work but had friends pop round as I couldn’t go out, I have not got to the gym and feel useless and as if I have wasted my day.
I have been very busy for months and am about to hit a quiet period.
Ryan asks me how I am feeling about coming up to a quiet period and do I have a sense of guilt?
I mention all the work I have been doing but not had that many casting directors in. I refer back to when Ryan said when it comes to work and free work you have to find ways to quantify its worth. Podcast on saying no to free work
I keep hearing people aka casting directors say you have to be in something to be seen, and new work is better. However I then get well it needs to be a certain fringe venues, ideally a new play, a great director… etc they seem to be excuses or barriers.
I know people see your work and then employ it, so I am a little frustrated.
Ryan says we cant rewind or change things, Spielberg wasn’t there. He understands my frustrations and how working actors are always vulnerable. Nothing though is ever wasted, it will always lead on to something, even if its just growth.
So maybe sit down and ask myself what can I do better? Also what can I do right now and support myself a lot more?
I know I need to take care myself, not looking after myself nutritionally, sleep wise and a good exercise routine.
Ryan suggests ‘Write down some tangible steps you could do to make steps forward’
I say when something comes to an end and I have lots of little projects to do. I recall Aletta Collins and Richard Thomas (podcast) talking about the bubble of theatre and film. As a group you get into a bubble together to create art, and a grief it is coming to an end, plus my new excuse of saying I am busy so I don’t have to focus on other things.
Ryan says to acknowledge my grief, how I feel and get a sense of what is best for me. Don’t let other people’s crazy get to me.
Ask am I supporting myself and can i identify something quite clearly in terms of steps.
I can see clearly how I have been getting in my own way, having friends around who are in a negative space – so choose when to see them when I am feeling positive. I need to be insular as a creative and you can easily waste that energy (and I am still waiting for DHL). I have chosen to disappoint myself and allowing myself to get distracted and dissipate my energy.
Ryan says that lack of self care and other people’s negativity are tied together. You have to understand as a creative and as a human being you must look at who adds to your energy and who takes it away.
I have expectations, views and hopes and I have to be very careful. I can be very vulnerable to the up and down, and I am talking now from a place of two days of conversation with unnecessary people who impacted me.
Ryan mentions the power of the Subconscious Mind, the book, so think at the end of the day and what you heard and make a decision about what you want to be true for you and what you didn’t.
We do create our own experience and we can choose what we buy into.
Creatives need to honour themselves and watch who they associate with. There are enough negative sublimnal messages in the outside world without yourself or your creative friends adding to it.
Ryan says really look at who you are listening to, if they are poor and broke would you listen to financial advice. Take a look at the people you surround yourself with including at work.
I have realised that I have come out of the lockdown of mid a creative project but I have almost come out to the world too early. I have only so much energy.
Ryan’s assignments for me this week are to look at what I want to buy into, do I want to believe life is easy and fun or hard. Also identify three to five things to step up my self support, as if I am feeling a little bit disappointed it is also easy to let go of other things. I have realised that as Ryan coaching me I see my truths, it becomes very clear, I look at myself look down a telescope, so from a distance and there is a lot of clarity that way.
I would like to say that after spending 15 minutes on the phone to DHL at 5 and waiting in all day) I then got the delivery at 6pm as I insisted I had to be out at 6.30 latest. 😉 Happy ending though a wasted day.
If you, as a listener would like to ask myself and Ryan a question on creativity or marketing just email us or call my Speak Pipe. The advantage of leaving a message on my Speak Pipe is that of you leave your blog details etc we can play the call live.
marysia@loveyourcreativity.com
@RyanJamesLock
Face book : The Ryan James Consultancy
Ryan James Lock <ryan@beingyourownpublicist.com>
The website and place to buy the coaching course is www.beingyourownpublicist.com/home
He also has on his site a free audio download 7 part coaching sessions, weekly mindset and pr strategy emails you can sign up to.
If you like this podcast please rate us or subscribe on iTunes, it’s free and will help others find it. Or you can just go the website for the blog and you can subscribe there via your email if you dont want to miss a post
Love Your Creativity.com is dedicated to all creatives trying to make great work and make a living from it.
About Marysia and Love Your Creativity
I blog at least three times a week on creativity and techniques to get your art on.
Whether you are a musician, an actor or a choreographer I endeavour to make https://loveyourcreativity.com is a place to come for inspiration and motivation.
If you like this and want an indepth overview on being your own publicist see Podcast on How To Be Your Own Publicist, Marysia & Ryan James Lock
The Coaching Sessions in reverse order are as follows
Podcast 7 on How to get the right mindset on press reviews
Why you must get comfortable being uncomfortable – Coaching podcast session 4
Podcast Coaching Session 001 How to start promoting yourself and stop holding yourself back
“Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”
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Tags: casting, creative negativity, E-squared, Event planning, Feature film, Film festival, negative people, Order, Pick, Ryan Lock, self care, Short film, Species
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