"Don't Just Give Things Up, Cultivate Good Habits! Marysia Trembecka & Ryan Lock Podcast Coaching Session [ 34:53 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadThis is a Marysia Trembecka with Ryan James Lock coaching session. Ryan and I chatted about being 2 months out from our New Years Goals and seeing where in some areas there has been progress and in others a dark failure. I know I am not alone, but being in my gym I can see how much quieter it is now that the January Gym Resolution has faded away for lots of people.
I always give something up for Lent, as my father is a Polish Catholic, my mum an English Protestant and I am a Buddhist. Since I was a teenager all three of us have always given up something for Lent, my sister just thinks we are mad. Traditionally early Christians gave up things for purification and enlightenment in the 40 days before receiving baptism to convert to Christianity. I do actually find peace and indeed purification and enlightenment as I strip away each year some habits for 7 weeks, my life always moves forward and I learn something new.
Last year I gave up sugar, alcohol, reading fiction books and men that were bad for me (the last one was the one I failed on, though it did provide some amusements as my ex kept yelling ‘I am not bad for you!” when I refused to see him ;-)) In giving up the alcohol, men and reading I ended up with lots of spare time which I filled with gym, reading non fiction, opening my mind and thus starting my own blog and my podcast. Lent starts Wednesday 5th March 2014 this year.
This year I am thinking about cultivating new positive habits rather than just giving up things as I always start again with the old habits when Lent finishes. I want to try and implant as a creative, a proper business day routine, so sitting at my desk at 9am to do work for 4 hours as if I was paid to do so. I know auditions etc get in the way but the idea of a 4 hour per day focused work when I am not on set seduces me into the idea that I would get letters sent out, be more on top of everything, keep up to date with everything such as chasing expenses etc. Currently by the time I sit down to do work; after a late night, breakfast and possibly the gym it is often lunchtime and then I have to dash out an hour later.
Ryan says what you focus on is what improves so cultivate and build habits that take you where you want to go is a much more positive place than the negativity of giving things up to improve your life. For example in the gym don’t think that you hate your body so you have to be in the gym to lose fat but to be there to do more pressups, getting stronger etc. So Ryan, when he gave up smoking instead of giving up, he tried to make his mission instead to build great health so juicing veg and going for longer walks.
I talk of the joy of being free and louche, on set filming last week with wine glass in hand and cigarette in the other, it is fun to be free without boundaries but I do know that the good habits are the way forward. (I don’t actually smoke but my character did and having that cigaretter dangling whilst I was suitably made up as a woman in the 1950s felt very decadent!) After many years of giving up things for Lent maybe I won’t give up anything but start something instead.
Ryan says
- Don’t deny yourself but cultivate what you need more of to get what you want.
- If you want to build a great client base, rather than look at what to stop doing, maybe take a new course or look at what has got you great results.
- Ask what works
- Do more of what works that gets you the results you want.
- What can you add to your life and to your toolbox to cultivate what you want (For example I know if I learnt to touchtype properly it would help.)
I got an iPad finally after years of wanting one but not seeing why I needed one and I was on set filming a commercial last week. I had a scene at 10am and then not one til 6pm as there was a change of location, so I could just grab my iPad from my handbag and do lots of work, so now I can grab moments to be more productive.
Ryan says that if it is not going the way you want, don‘t beat yourself up, simply look at what you can do to get results.
Ask how can you add moments of productivity into your life. So Ryan used to book clients back to back and now he leaves space to do emails as it really helps. It is about working smarter not longer.
I talk about batching, and how John Lee Dumas of Entrepreneur On Fire Podcast(7 days a week!) works, He started the podcast in July 2012 and was best of iTunes in 2013 and makes about $60k a month from it now on advertising etc. Each Monday he has booked 7 interviewees in back to back, does all interviews and then edits so a 16 hour day but gets all podcasts for the week done in one day.
So if you do 5 blog posts do all at one time. it is easier to do the same thing all together.
Say one of your goals is to say increase income, look at what you can do that is smarter with your time. Batch it, book your own time in and get in done. Chatting on Facebook for half a day will not help you write your book or get your work done.
- Be smarter with your time
- Eat the frog first – do the calls you don’t want to do first.
- Do Ryan’s Procrastination list – make a list of everything you are putting off doing.
His clients sometimes swear at him when he tells them to do this but he argues you have to :
- Get off the guilt trip, change directions and put new habits back in place or put back the ones you know work.
- Make a list, be very clear, brutal and honest with yourself about what you are not doing and then action it.
Look at
- What do you want?
- Where am I in relation to having it?
- What am I not doing.?
This procrastination list is magic, when you have on paper what you are not doing you cant help but be faced with truth and thus action will occur or you know you have to change what you want.
I mention Getting Things Done by David Allen, he tells you to get everything out of your head and pop it down. When you know what you are not doing there is less stress.
He also suggests having a Someday/Maybe list so you can pop things down like learn French, write a show on a certain topic etc . He argues that your brain is best for thinking, dreaming and brainstorming but it is not a good filing system. Your brain does not differentiate between buying cat food, call my mum, bad write a novel so it will keep reminding you.
Ryan is big on results and getting things done. He mentions that he has a client who wants more work but then admitted she not got her website up yet and she was stressed and sort of denying it. If you want something you must be clear regarding what you are doing. Ryan knew he should be doing video and once he did, he got huge results.
The take-away is to look at your goals and cultivate the habits needed.
Each year I use the seven weeks of this sacrosanct time of Lent to improve myself, not necessarily as a religious thing but I know having done it for years that joining millions of people giving up things for 40 days (actually 46 if you count from Ash Wednesday (which starts March 5th this year) to Easter Sunday) I hook into a tradition and a universal energy of people all trying to improve themselves for the good of the world no matter what their religion is . 40 days had an incredible religious significance; the Buddha was supposed to sit under the Bodhi tree in 800BC for 40 days as well, in the Jewish Calendar of rain falling forty days and nights. There is more on this here on wiki
So for me this year I am cultivating batching to see where in my life, from writing letters to blogs, podcast and video, and what can I do to improve my life. Also I want to start my sitting at my desk at 9am each morning to do 4 hours straight work so cultivating that too. I am also giving up sugar (as in candy, sweets, chocolate etc) I feel giving that up every year really re-focuses me.
Ryan is planning to cultivate positive downtime, so not rush around all day so walking. He also whats to cultivate he has been putting off doing a 5 part video training (not video he already does that)
I would love to hear your comments below on what habits do you want to cultivate in your life from more gym time to work habits.?
Ryan James Lock has a free audio program ‘Take The Stress Out of Promoting Yourself and Your Work’ and his free ezine subscribe
here
Or contact him via Facebook
If you want a free excerpt to my guide in Getting Your Art In Gear just susbcribe to the blog or email em at marysia@loveyourcreativity.com
My code for getting 32% off my ebook is Creative, so £25 down to £17, with lots of free audios.
https://loveyourcreativity.com/60-ways-to-get-your-art-in-gear-the-ebook/
If you like this and want an indepth overview on being your own publicist see Podcast on How To Be Your Own Publicist, Marysia & Ryan James Lock
The Coaching Sessions in reverse order are as follows
‘Listen to those who have the results you want’ aka the ‘Waiting for DHL’ Podcast Coaching 8
Podcast 7 on How to get the right mindset on press reviews
Why you must get comfortable being uncomfortable – Coaching podcast session 4
Podcast Coaching Session 001 How to start promoting yourself and stop holding yourself back
If you, as a listener would like to ask myself and Ryan a question on creativity or marketing just email us or call my Speak Pipe. The advantage of leaving a message on my Speak Pipe is that of you leave your blog details etc we can play the call live.
marysia@loveyourcreativity.com
@RyanJamesLock
Face book : The Ryan James Consultancy
Ryan James Lock <ryan@beingyourownpublicist.com
If you like this podcast please rate us or subscribe on iTunes, it’s free and will help others find it. Or you can just go the website for the blog and you can subscribe there via your email if you dont want to miss a post
Love Your Creativity.com is dedicated to all creatives trying to make great work and make a living from it.
About Marysia and Love Your Creativity
I blog at least three times a week on creativity and techniques to get your art on.
Whether you are a musician, an actor or a choreographer I endeavour to make https://loveyourcreativity.com is a place to come for inspiration and motivation.
Tags: 800BC, Coaching, David Allen, Facebook, Getting Things Done, John Lee Dumas, Marysia, Marysia Trembecka, motivation, Ryan, Ryan James, Ryan James Lock.
Leave a Reply