Three mindset traps that entrepreneurs and creatives fall into and how to fix them’ Marysia Trembecka with Ryan Lock [ 29:28 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadThe way you think about yourself affects everything from the jobs you book to how you do your marketing and the work itself. One of the benefits Ryan Lock is noticing about doing so much coaching is he is seeing this so clearly with his clients. These mindset traps stop you having what you want as you get in your own way. This is Marysia Trembecka’s with Ryan James Lock twelfth coaching session podcast, just press the arrow above or below are some of the highlights (this is not a full transcript)
Three mindset traps
- Mindset Trap 1 The fear of what other people think of you if you put yourself out there or take action.
- Mindset Trap 2 Who The Hell Am I Syndrome?
- Mindset trap 3 Delusion – Thinking about it and expecting it to happen.
Mindset Trap One – The fear of what other people think of you if you put yourself out there or take action.
Often the first real block of getting more clients is people worry about what others will think if they indeed step up and do a Youtube video, a blog or work towards goals.
You will come up against people in whatever field you are in. As Marysia is an actress she has got used to being rejected as you don’t always fit the brief or have the right coloring for the family unit. Rejection is not always personal. You can get pencilled (so you have to block out the time in your diary) before you are penned and then still be rejected.
Ryan suggests thinking of yourself as a brand, it makes it less personal. If you are worried what people think, really do acknowledge that it is not personal, there is often a bigger picture we can’t see.
You can worry about what people think, or you can take action on your goals, you can’t do both
Allowing what other people think of you to stop you taking action is a real trap. Often as an entrepreneur or creative your family and friends often don’t get your dreams. Marysia listens to lots of other peoples’ podcasts in the gym for inspiration, for encouragement, she finds it’s like being in a mastermind group and helps block the other negative voices out. (There are some great podcast suggestions at the end of this post.)
Ryan has recently coached someone into getting published on a front page of a website who was worried about her ‘real writer’ friends and what they would think to see her as that is not her real focus. Ryan has suggested that if her friends got weird she needs to change her friends.
Having a coach or a mastermind group is important to support your dreams and remind you that you are not alone. Marysia was in a ‘mastermind’ group with other actors but they were all very different casting. She still passes on jobs for others although if it was a casting for her type I would not. However having people in very different or similar but different fields can be super useful to brainstorm, inspire
Collaborate not competet post here
Mindset Trap 2 Who The Hell Am I Syndrome?
Every one suffers from lack of confidence, it can be very subtle.
- I won’t go that for that as I probably won’t get it
- I won’t go to that audition as it is out of my reach
- I won’t keep in touch with that contact because they are out of my league.
So it manifests itself as not believing you deserve what you want. It is very erosive, even if you want something if you have this tape playing in your head of ‘who the hell am I?’ or a la the Spice Girls ‘Who (oooh ooh) Do You Think You Are?‘ you just won’t take action for what you want.
The Kardashians, reality TV stars earming $25 million for eating lunch, as they so into self promotion. Ryan had a client critiscising Madonna’s hard self promotion and Ryan said actually that is an amazing thing.
So how to overcome this?
- Look at areas in your life where you suffering
- Are you not going for that promotion, talk, seminar, audition?
- Look at what you are not doing and own the fact that the only reason you are staying stuck is because of that belief. From there things will begin to shift and you will take the action you need to take.
Marysia says she has two sites: loveyourcreativity.com and marysiatrembecka.com – ( this is her straight acting site). Love Your Creativity is about the creative group of people and to inspire each other.
‘I already have 3 projects for marysiatrembecka.com I could write about what I have done, add production stills etc. I have been asking myself could I spin it as a lesson blog or do I just brashly state on mt.com that it is wholly about what I am doing acting wise. I am not doing the pure naked self promotion yet of ‘I have done x and it was cool because…’
(Note she has since updated her mt.com website)
Everyone suffers from this Ryan says. A client needed to do Youtube videos and they are dealing with both mindset traps one and two. Marysia acknowledges that although she has cameras and mikes shoved in her face every week she still finds the thought of making her own Youtube videos horrendous.
Look at where you are holding yourself back because you suffer from the ‘Who The Hell Am I ‘ syndrome. It is important to see how you are allowing such mindset traps to sabotage you and if you don’t think you deserve something, you will self sabotage and you won’t get it. Or you do get it but then you will self sabotage and lose it, by not thinking you are worth the money or the position .
People often don’t think they deserve to be successful or well paid.
If you are frustrated and things are not going the way you want ask yourself where you are playing too small.
That question ‘where are you playing too small’ is about a healthy ego, not a super sized or tiny one. If you want to be broke and have no clients then don’t listen to this advice!
Marysia is trying to send out three emails out every day to promote her work, not just CV’s but possible contacts or keeping in touch with old contacts. It is a great little rule and three emails adds up over time. The culminate effect will be seen in results in the future.
Mindset trap 3 Delusion – Thinking about it and expecting it to happen.
This is the most dangerous and most prevalent one.
Ryan wrote an article ‘7 reasons why you don’t have what you want and how to fix it now’
Ryan kept seeing the same things coming up in sessions with clients. People were complaining about not having enough money or clients, or agreeing the actions and then not doing them.
If you are not doing anything about what you want then you really cant complain. If you are in the gym once a week but eating pizza and drinking beer once a day you can’t then complain regarding putting on weight.
Give yourself a healthy kick up on the bum and ask:
- Where am I not taking action?
- Where am I not doing what I need to improve
If the problem is I haven’t enough paying clients, Ryan would ask ‘What have you done to get paying clients?’
If there is something in your life where things are not happening ask yourself where am I being deluded?
The gym is a great example, you can’t go to a gym once a fortnight and expect to put on muscle, any personal trainer could easily tell you your problem and where you are being delusional.
Marysia mentioned about finally getting her showreel done, for eight months last year she kept putting it off. She didn’t want to watch herself act, look at herself, look bad, she wasn’t sure which bits to pick or how to put a showreel together, so many reasonable excuses.
‘Finally the week before Xmas I focused on doing the showreel and now having done it, I have lots of auditions and booked work. Why was I not taking action? I am an actress and people need to see you act, sure I did two plays last year as well but still people cant always make it so they need to be able to see a showreel.
It is the same if you are a coach, a writer, a painter where can people see your work online? Are they up where can people see them?’
Someone said to Ryan ‘I am a success coach’, Ryan asked what are you successful at that you can coach people in? Where can I see you be a success?
Ryan believes in taking big action, small steps are for babies!
Where, in your industry, are you not showing up?
Marysia argues it doesn’t need to be perfect, it does need to be pretty good but you can’t let perfectionism stop you.
Now Marysia is seeing real progress from sending her showreel out and then applying for jobs and booking more work. She is getting into bigger and better rooms, bigger casting directors, bigger directors.
She now has an excuse to go shake some trees with emails about her new showreel and fruit is coming out.
The new Stonewall Commercial is out and you can see Marysia’s deliberately trashy but beautiful red dress from 0.39 to 0.42. She would not have been called in for the casting nor booked the job without having finished her showreel as she knew neither the casting director Sasha Robertson, the multi award winning director Joanna Bailey nor the production team The Gate.
Final thought – Ryan encourages anyone who is listening to think about one thing that has jumped out at you form this podcast,
- Where you not taking action?
- Picture one thing to take action on it now.
- You only ever get results from things you implement and do.
Let us know in comments on the blog below!
Podcast suggestions apart from Marysia’s 😉
If you like this maybe try
You Have To Work Hard: Kevin Bisbangian Award winning film director
If you want an indepth overview on being your own publicist see Podcast on How To Be Your Own Publicist, Marysia & Ryan James Lock
The Coaching Sessions in reverse order are as follows
‘Listen to those who have the results you want’ aka the ‘Waiting for DHL’ Podcast Coaching 8
Podcast 7 on How to get the right mindset on press reviews
Why you must get comfortable being uncomfortable – Coaching podcast session 4
Podcast Coaching Session 001 How to start promoting yourself and stop holding yourself back
Ryan magazine – free ezine subscribe in here with free audio program ‘Taking The Stress out of Promoting Yourself and Your Work’
http://www.beingyourownpublicist.com/
ryan@beingyourownpublicist,com
@RyanJamesLock
Face book : The Ryan James Consultancy
Ryan James Lock <ryan@beingyourownpublicist.com
About Marysia and Love Your Creativity
I blog at least three times a week on creativity and techniques to get your art on.
Whether you are a musician, an actor or a choreographer I endeavour to make https://loveyourcreativity.com is a place to come for inspiration and motivation.
If you, as a listener would like to ask myself and Ryan a question on creativity or marketing just email us or call my Speak Pipe. The advantage of leaving a message on my Speak Pipe is that of you leave your blog details etc we can play the call live.
marysia@loveyourcreativity.com
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Love Your Creativity.com is dedicated to all creatives trying to make great work and make a living from it.
Tags: Anxiety, Back Stage, casting, Coach, Coaching, creative, director, entrepreneur, Joanna Bailey, Marysia Trembecka, mindset, Need, Ryan, Ryan ‘I, Ryan James Lock., Ryan Lock, Sasha Robertson, Stonewall Commercial, The Action, The Gate, Thought, Trapdoor, Want, writer, Xmas, YouTube
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